In a perfect world, I’d be president of the United States.
Or some big time famous person. Or even
a reality TV sensation. But you see, things don’t work in our favor. And no
matter how much we try and say our world is perfect, it truly isn’t. I’m a firm
believer that life is what you make it. But life is also out to get you so you
have to make sure you’re careful or you’ll end up in a situation like me..
You see, almost a year ago, I met this guy. Very handsome,
very nice, and just an overall good person to be around. Although I did meet
him on pretty bad terms, we managed to become friends somehow. Two weeks later,
from the first initial time we met, we met again. It just so happened, I saw
him at a party I was at. Nothing big, we just exchanged a few words because we didn’t
really know each other. However, after the party, somehow he ended up in the
backseat of my friend’s car. I DON’T KNOW HOW THIS HAPPENED BUT IT DID. We dropped
him off at his friend’s house where his car was which was only a few minutes
away from where the party was. I knew he was crazy so I convinced him to make
out with my friend (IT WAS REALLY NOT HARD). Neither of us really knew him. I
grew up around his friends but somehow we didn’t meet until this past year. Anyways,
our friendship progressed and we started texting here and there, hanging out
with the friends we have in mutual. Now, 8 months later, I have what today’s
generation calls “the feels”. Meaning I have feelings towards him. But, there are
just some things better left unsaid, reasons that got me to how I feel today
that I choose not to share with the world. I knew from the beginning that he wasn’t
one of me. But his actions proved otherwise. I tried for a very long time to
tell myself that I didn’t like him but that didn’t work. It’s been months and
months of the same stuff. And now, I feel like everything is crashing at once. Things
are changing. Not drastically but it’s the little things that are making me
feel some type of way. Things are happening now that I shouldn’t even bug me,
but they do. I just feel like I allowed myself
to get emotional invested and dragged along like a dog and now I can’t seem to
shake this funky feeling I get every day. I can’t believe I let it myself get
like this but I’ve never been in this situation to where I actually liked
someone. I’m always the friend that would say “screw people why waste time on
liking someone” and now look at where I am (LOL). The dilemma I have every day
is what to do because he considers me as his “best friend” so we hang out
pretty often. Usually, people take some time away from a person if they’re
feeling some type of way about them and the feeling isn’t mutual. BUT, he’s really
fun and I always have a good time when I’m with him. So what do I do? I still don’t
know the answer to this. I can’t see us not hanging out or not being friends
but at the same time, I need to think about myself now. Of course, he doesn’t know
any of this. Well, let me rephrase that, I’m sure he knows or at least have a
feeling because he referred to me as his “best friend but sometimes I act like
his girlfriend”. He just wants to hear it from my mouth. But I’ll never give him
that satisfaction.
In a perfect world, we’ll be together. In a perfect world, I’d
have everything I’ve ever hoped for. But the reality is, the world isn’t perfect
and neither is anyone in it. You can choose which way you’d like to live your
life and be so happy. Good things don’t last forever they say. But you can always
have hope. And in my life, hope is everlasting.
